Faultless
by fieldagent85
Summary: Jack tells Sydney the truth about what happened with Irina in Panama.


"Dad, what happened?" Sydney pulled him aside, far from the prying eyes and ears of their colleagues. "Really."

He was hesitant to tell her, hesitant to admit weakness. For it was true, his most obvious and dangerous weakness was Irina Derevko. She would be responsible for his downfall one of these days. He knew that already.

"Tell me," Sydney insisted, with quiet urgency.

"You know your mother," Jack replied, dismissively.

"No." She shook her head. "I don't."

He nodded. This was one time when he could not be cavalier. Sydney _didn't_ know her mother. At this rate, she never would.

"We were alone, in a hotel room, in Panama, the night before…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She urged to him to continue, to get to the point.

"I had a weak moment."

Sydney squinted her eyes in confusion, still not entirely clear on what had happened or if she was, flatly denying it.

"I was foolish, Sydney. She convinced me it would be best to remove her tracker, because if Sloane detected it, it was all over."

"Yeah, she can be pretty persuasive, I know. But how did you inject the passive tracker without her knowing it?"

Jack shifted his weight from one leg to the other awkwardly. This is a conversation he did not want to be having with his daughter.

"I removed the tracker, and there she was, uncovered, and there I was…and damnit, I trusted her. Why, how, I don't know, but I did. So it happened."

Sydney's eyes widened in horror. "Dad, you didn't…"

Jack looked away from her, determined not to see her reaction to what had happened.

"You of all people…" She trailed off, befuddled by the entire situation. "How could you be duped by her again? After everything she's done to you, to us…"

"I'm not proud of it," Jack said. "But truth be told, I'd probably do it again."

"Do you know how much trouble you could get in if Kendall got wind of this?"

Jack frowned. "There's no law against…being intimate with fugitives."

"The tracker, Dad!" Sydney exclaimed, exasperated. "You can't just remove the tracking device from the shoulder of someone in FBI custody."

"That's why I planted the passive tracker."

"So you obviously had a feeling she was going to pull something like this."

"It was just a precaution," Jack explained. "Of course I didn't assume she was going to betray us, but I couldn't rule out the possibility, however remote."

"And you're positive she doesn't know."

"No." Jack shook his head. "She was asleep, she didn't feel it."

Sydney nodded, now satisfied with the notion that somehow they would get her mother back, back into custody where she clearly had proven she belonged. She then saw the hurt in her father's eyes, the desolation, and for the first time throughout the conversation, she felt sorry for him.

"Dad," she said, softly. "It's not your fault."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," Jack replied. "But if you can, just imagine waking up beside someone in the morning, only to be betrayed by them only hours later."

Sydney looked up at him sympathetically. She had never considered the situation from that perspective.

"You still have feelings for her, don't you?"

"No, no, of course not," Jack responded, automatically. "Yes. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know if I'm still just…pining for Laura, or…"

"It's not impossible," Sydney assured him, almost pleased by the prospect of her parents reconnecting, though she knew any true manifestation of their feelings was unfeasible. "So much of…whoever Laura Bristow was still exists in Irina Derevko. It's only natural that you should still be drawn to her."

"You know, sometimes I look at her and I can't believe it. _My_ Laura…"

"I know, Dad."

"But at the same time, it's almost easier now. It's easier to justify what I do every day knowing what she does is worse. And there were times over the last few months when I was almost…proud of her. Watching her operate a machine gun, faultlessly navigate a field of land mines, morph perfectly into whatever alias we assign her. These are things I never in a million years would have thought Laura could do. It's almost as if we can…connect more now than we could before. If you can overlook the opposite sides we stand on."

Sydney nodded. She understood, but what was there to say? It was a tragedy of gargantuan proportion, one she could not fix. She put her arm around Jack's shoulder.

"Come on, let's get back to work."

There was nothing else they could do.


End file.
